Week one back at uni

And wow I’m tired today. So I am back at uni to finish a graduate diploma in law, it’s technically a part time course but that still means at least 20 hours a week. I genuinely love it but with 3 kids, part time teaching and training 4 times a week it’s gonna be a hell of a year 

Crossfit wise I’ve maintained 3 to 4 times a week since I last posted. Not actually sure if I’m getting fitter or stronger as every class still feels like a bloody struggle. This mornings, long wod of wall balls, row, kb swings, burpees that went on for half an hour was a killer and I modified some stuff as my son knackered my elbow showing me self defence moves he learned. That said I was hill walking at the weekend with my family and the hills felt like a comfortable walk. So I guess it’s paying dividends outside of class. I’m also feeling thinner and firmer. 

All my kids are back at school or college including my daughter who had cancer. It’s really lovely hearing her talk about normal stuff.

Right best read a law book!

Whoops

Been pretty bad updating recently, after the virus which lasted about ten days I made back to class the following week. That week was two sessions followed by 3 the week after and a home WOD so essentially 4. This week I will probably go to 3 sessions plus an at home. Things have gotten a little crazy recently,my dad has been very ill. The entirety of Wednesday night last week was spent with him in hospital, followed by the next day at casualty with my son who dropped a weight on his hand! I have more one to one yoga students and am back at uni next week! This is when it gets tricky fitting in my crossfit. Wish me luck.

Honesty

A in real life friend who also reads this blog *Waves* asked if I shouldn’t just post the upbeat crossfit stuff.

I totally understand where she’s coming from. We like to read stories where someone makes a commitment or sets a goal and gradually gets closer and closer till they nail it.

Which sometimes happens, but not always. More often then not I would guess it’s not that simple. The trip from where we are to where we want to be isn’t always linear. There are bumps in the road, detours even dead ends. The key to success isn’t a smooth road it’s being able to find a new route when needed.

So I’m recording this experience as honestly as I can. During this year there will be struggles but I will do my best to surmount them.

Forgive the down posts, they aren’t the story just bumps in the road. 

Despondent 

I am in so much pain right now it’s just ridiculous. Every single joint is on fire, I don’t mean uncomfortable I mean I could weep pain. I know it will pass and in that way I’m lucky, some people are in chronic pain all the time. But when I’m in pain, exhausted and every little thing is struggle. Everything I would normally enjoy becomes a hellish task to simply endure until I can once again lie down. It becomes hard to not be despondent. This could last another week, two weeks, the longest a flare latest was 4 months. During that time I had no choice but to continue teaching, looking after the kids etc with every responsibility punctuated by bed rest. I plastered make up to disguise the look of exhaustion on and grinned broadly and didn’t mention being ill or in pain to anyone outside the house. The reality is people don’t actually want to know, they especially don’t want to know a yoga teacher can have a chronic illness. Even if that illness has no doubt made them a better teacher. I can’t imagine how immobile I would be with this going on if I didn’t practice yoga. Yes I practice when ill but gently, when well I amp it up. Either way it benefits me. 

This cat

Is called Arwen (yes we adopted her during the time the LOTR series of films were being released). 

She is a fiercely independent girl who spent most of her younger years outside hunting. She’s also my cat. Her choice, the other humans may live here but they aren’t her people. They literally aren’t allowed to do anything for her, to the point where a few years back I went away for work for a fortnight and she left home. Yup just left and lived outside. My husband and kids thought something awful had happened. She came home the evening I did as if nothing happened. She did it a few times after that when I was away, but less and less as she aged.

Then we got dog. Not impressed. She vanished for a week, came back saw he was still here and vanished again. That was a few weeks ago now, she and I came to the understanding she would live at home so long as she could  have my bedroom. WITH NO DOG. She’s likes this arrangement to the point where this morning she stood at my feet downstairs meowing until I took her upstairs and let her in. You can see above how happy she was.

Yes my cats have me well trained.

Yes still poorly no CrossFit.

Hurting


My immune system is not quite right, the doctors never really found out what is wrong or if it actually has a name. But they agree it’s not quite right. Across my life I’ve had spontaneous anaphylaxis which was never traced to a source, multiple bouts of hives, my rheumatoid factor is very high but markers for thungs like lupus aren’t there. 

Then there is the recovering from illness problem. See the problem with my immune system doesn’t seem to be under activity. Quite the opposite. So a cold like this last one makes me very ill, very ludicrously ill. Mostly it’s my own immune system that makes me ill and not the actual cold. If you imagine an army seeing a lone invader on a stretch of its farm land and sending the entire army including missiles leaving utter desolation in their wake. Then looking really proud they killed the invader. That’s my immune system that is. So the infection is most likely gone but I’m now in a state of systemic pain, every joint hurts. Really hurts. Nothing I can do but wait for the inflammation to go.